I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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