I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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