I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
