I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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