Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I FOUND THE LEGS
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
