What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
