I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
