I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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