Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
