I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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