Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
