i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
