I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
