We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
