I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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