Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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