You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
