Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
he's single and there are thong briefs.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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