your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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