Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
