I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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