last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
