I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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