Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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