i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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