Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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