guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
