I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
