Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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