He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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