Pregnant stripper...not hot.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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