Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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