booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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