We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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