He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
