My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
