He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
