one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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