the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
