when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
