Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
