He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
What a dumb baby whore.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
