Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You're breaking my sexual little heart
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
