Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
