Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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