Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
