Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
