this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
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I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
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Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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