I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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