So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
