don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just blew my weed a kiss
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize