just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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