Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
How's work?
Spinning.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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