Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
