Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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