Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
That's how pantless uber rides happen
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
