i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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