I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
