I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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