Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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