wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
