If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
