i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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