Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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