DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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