By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i think i have two assholes
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm sobbing to NWA
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
