I love black thongs
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
