would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
