physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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