Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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