Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
