you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
